Monday, October 26, 2009

A human adult requires roughly 30 pounds of air every day to survive.

Friday, October 23, 2009

If you crash and get stuck on a desert island, is it still a federal offense to ignore crewmember instructions?
What is inside the survival pack on an airplane and how do you decide who gets it?

Well I asked on Quora and it was answered by John Bassett:
My airliner has a Emergency Medical Kit ! This kit contains items to assist ill customers. It is opened at the Captains discretion to be used by Licensed Medical Providers. To assist crews during an emergency, two way communication is established with Medlink, this contract service provides Medical Experts that provide information to assist crews until the aircraft can be safely landed.
 Here's more information: http://www.medaire.com/comm_kits.html
Possible swine flu diss: "Did you just give me swine flu or is the vomiting a natural reaction to your face?"
Possible swine flu pickup line: "Baby do you have swine flu because you're makin me hot/ill?"

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The other day, my roommate made the observation that it would be awesome to live as a duck. For the most part I agreed with him, but then I thought about it for a while (yes, I have time) and I changed my mind. I guess what really got me was the fact that most of the food I ate would be cold and wet. Plus, I would always have to worry about people feeding me some sort of duck meat. These are things you never have to worry about as a human. Well, unless you frequent that Wendy's that had a human finger in the chili.
Paranormal Activity: Yes it is a good movie to take you girlfriend to. She will pee herself. The End.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Pasta is strange. Think about it, what other food do we sell in that many shapes? Wikipedia lists 163 different pasta shapes but claim there are over 600. Where did they all come from?

I'll put my radiatore on some Italian spiralini that was making macaroni art one day and thought, "Does anyone realize that instead of making Mona Lisa's 'tache out of curved 'ronies, we could shape them into little dinosaurs and market them to lazy American college students?" And you thought the internet was big.

Dinosaurini - Little Dinosaurs

Seriously though, once you've hit about 30, you can probably stop making new shapes. Silly straws knew when enough was enough. How many shapes of one thing does a person need?

And how do you come up with new shapes? Who looks at a list of 599 pasta shapes and say, "No, wait! This one is going to change it all!" I now present to you the true story of shape 391:

It was 4am and the stars were hidden behind a thick black fog. Hank stood alone in front of a chalkboard, hands cracked, hair full of dust. He closed his eyes, lifted his last stick of chalk to the cold slate, and sneezed. When he opened his eyes and saw what he had done, he knew this was it. This was the shape that would finally put his name on the blue box in isle 6. This was Lumaconi.

Turns out, that's also the story for about 200 other shapes, just replace sneezing with any other quick, jerky action (Masturbatoni?). The rest involve heavy drinking (J├Ągeretti), flour and water.