Monday, March 01, 2010

Weekend Movie Review (Spoiler Alert)

I only spoil terrible movies, or the terrible parts of good movies.  Still, you should be warned.

The Informant! - Summary: Rich guy acts dumb, steals lots of money, and goes to jail.  It's about 2 hours too long and Matt Damon needs to stick to chase scenes and gun fights instead of cheap wigs and terrible voice-overs.

Ninja Assassin - Bullet Points (throwing stars?): 1. Boy trains to be ninja 2. Boys falls for girl 3. Boy's brother kills girl 4. Some years later, boy goes Palin and cuts father in the f*ing face 5. Father is pissed 6. Bunch of pointless, really bloody fight scenes 7. Boy finally fights brother 8. Boy starts life 9. Person leaves theater/living room unfulfilled.  The only reason to watch this is to see the wonderful blood sprays.  

Capitalism: A Love Story - Summary: Democracy > Capitalism.  This movie < interesting.  I think Moore shot maybe ten mins of actual new footage for this movie.  And eight mins of it was him asking questions to people crying that he already knew the answer to and the other few minutes was him acting like a jackass in front of building security guards.

Crazy Heart: No wonder this thing won so many awards.  It's like Walk the Line and The Wrestler had a baby and it was raised by Tommy Lee Jones from No Country for Old Men.  All in a good way.  Jeff is a little old for Maggie, but it's not as creepy as Entrapment or most episodes of To Catch a Predator.  Maggie looks much older than she should and Jeff looks much younger than he is, so it all works out.  All I can say is I actually had to close my laptop while watching this movie, which makes my life seem so pointless.  And my favorite line: ""Damn those boots are ugly.  What, did the salesmen threaten to kill your dog or something?"