Tuesday, August 28, 2012

The RNC Drinking Game

1x for each story about the small business owner getting crushed under taxes
1x for each interview with a former candidate (and again every minute of the interview)
1x for the following buzzwords: Obamacare, Job Creators, National Debt, Small Businesses, EPA, middle class, American dream, Swing State
1x anyone says or sees the word Ohio
1x each time someone in the room says "they took our jerbs!"

2x whenever someone says "We Built It"
2x for every mention of Ron Paul

Warning: Do Not Attempt!

Monday, August 27, 2012

IM Is a Text Message, Not a Phone Call

person1: hey
(time passes)
person2: hey
person1: blah blah blah blah blah blah...

This is undoubtedly how most of your IM conversations start. But why? Why the initial hey? Just say "Hey, blah blah blah blah..."  Why do you need for me to acknowledge your initial "hey" before you tell me what you're going to tell me?

IM isn't a phone conversation, it's a text message.  When you text someone, you don't have to preface it with "hey" and then wait for a response.  Just say what you're going to say and let the person on the other end decide what to do with that information.  Maybe they will respond, maybe they will not.  If it is really important, send an email.

And don't get me started about people who ask "did you get my text?"  The answer is always "Yes, but because i'm an a-hole, i never bothered to respond."

Thursday, August 23, 2012

A Theory About Happy Hours

Most of the time, the more people you have at a dinner, the longer it takes.  Except happy hours.  When just two people are out for happy hour, there is no possible way to have just one drink.  As that number increases to three or more, the happy hour will be much shorter.

When two people are out drinking, they will always drink at different rates.  As such, the bartender will ask if one person wants another drink before the other has finished. Then the other person finishes, and doesn't want to leave someone drinking alone, and decides to get just one more.

And it continues until an external force breaks the cycle (train, significant other, dog, etc.).

When there are more than two people, most of the time there will be enough momentum to disband if one person decides to leave.

In this way, the optimal happy hour size for getting home before 9pm seems to be three.  Of course, who wants that?

Friday, August 17, 2012

Chatting About "The Hunger Games"

Warning, spoilers for The Hunger Games follow.

(2:40:11 PM) Russ: i watched the hunger games movie last night
(2:40:30 PM) SomeoneElse: wow couldnt help yourself
(2:40:44 PM) Russ: the main character is such a dummy
(2:40:59 PM) Russ: same as that damn twilight
(2:41:15 PM) SomeoneElse: katniss, omg not the same
(2:41:33 PM) SomeoneElse: those are fighting words
(2:41:39 PM) Russ: let's go through the list
(2:41:47 PM) Russ: not good with people: check check
(2:42:08 PM) Russ: guy chasing them that they don't want: check check
(2:42:19 PM) Russ: pale: check check
(2:42:21 PM) SomeoneElse: annoying in real life: not, untalented actresses in the other movies
(2:42:50 PM) Russ: not good at being a hunter/vampire: check check
(2:42:53 PM) SomeoneElse: not check check
(2:43:03 PM) SomeoneElse: wait why was she not a good hunter
(2:43:27 PM) Russ: ok, guy tells her not to go for the cornicopia: she goes for the cornicopia
(2:43:50 PM) Russ: gets trapped in a tree and the only reason she is save was that little girl
(2:44:00 PM) Russ: who also saved her ass while she was stung
(2:44:22 PM) SomeoneElse: hunters dont usually have to do that
(2:44:22 PM) Russ: then she gets her but kicked trying to go back to the cornicopia to save her bf, then someone saves her
(2:44:46 PM) Russ: basically, luck is the only way she manages to survive 
(2:45:06 PM) SomeoneElse: true, she actually did a lot more in the book versus the movie
(2:45:08 PM) Russ: the only thing she did was blow up some food, which i'm still not sure why she did it
(2:45:21 PM) Russ: other than to be a beee-otch

Monday, August 13, 2012

Five Trivia Questions for "My Cousin Vinny"

Mild spoilers ahead for the 1992 film My Cousin Vinny.

1. What crime were the two boys accused of?
2. What takes about 20 mins to cook?
3. This actress won an Academy Award for playing Mona. Name her.
4. Why couldn't the car have made those tracks?
5. What name did the Judge finally accept for Mr. Vincent Gambini?

Need to brush up? Grab a copy over on Amazon.com.

1. Murder of a store clerk 2. grits (non-instant) 3. Marisa Tomei 4. It had a solid back axle 5. Jerry Callo

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Why I Wear Flip Flops on Airplanes

Before a 6 hour flight:


So apparently, the extreme medical term for this is "gravitational oedema." This is most likely due to my unhealthy lifestyle and poor choices in diet.  Instead of starting a plan for diet and healthy activity, I figure I'll just add these compression socks to my wishlist and enjoy that bacon cheeseburger.

source: USA Today: Swollen Ankles & Feet After Airline Travel