Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Upon hearing that WikiLeaks might be dumping a bunch of documents about Bank of America next month, I have decided to register the domain name

Any ideas what I should do with it?

Monday, December 20, 2010

You Fail

When spammers stop trying, you know things are getting pretty bad...
from: Microsoft ®Corporation 2010 [email protected]
reply-to: [email protected]
date: Wed, Dec 15, 2010 at 8:37 AM
subject: Winning Notification!!!
Prize won! $552,000 send name,tel,country

Thursday, November 25, 2010

"Home Alone" Drinking Game

Just in time for the holiday season! There are tons of movie drinking games, but this one is for Home Alone. This is my favorite Christmas drinking game.

Take a drink whenever:
 - someone crashes into the lawn jockey (from FSR).
 - you notice product placement (from FSR).
 - you see a Christmas tree.
 - someone says "Kevin" (from FSR).
 - the Home Alone theme music plays (hear the theme here).
 - you see the tarantula.
 - Kevin gets scared of something (the old man, the basement, etc.).
 - someone makes a phone call.

Take a shot for some important scenes:
 - When the family realizes they've left Kevin.
 - When Kevin uses Angels with Filthy Souls to scare someone.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Monday, September 27, 2010

My Next/First Restaurant

If I were to run a restaurant, it would be called "You Are a Giant."  Everything in the place would be very tiny, as to make you feel like a giant.  Tiny glasses, tiny plates, tiny forks, tiny menus, etc.  After dinner, people would walk outside and on the way to their cars, things in the environment would slowly start to get bigger and bigger.  Of course, on the other side of the street would be my other restaurant, "You Are a Dwarf."

Friday, September 24, 2010

Thinking Outside the Bottle

Whenever I hear about a massive disaster somewhere in the world, there is always one thought that comes to mind.  It is highly likely that there was at least one person that was blackout drunk before the disaster happened.  When the person woke up, along with the normal feelings of regret and general confusion, they peered out the window and saw that everything he or she had ever known had been destroyed.  Everything was flooded.  It was raining fireballs from the sky.  It's the type of situation that brings D-list celebrities together for a song. 

Then, for a split second, that person truly believes that they were the cause of all the chaos. 

And that makes me smile.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Roommate Monopoly

My roommate is the worst person to play Monopoly with.  His strategy is all about making deals with you that always end up in his favor.  The last time we played, and I have no idea how he did this, but I ended up with a sub-prime mortgage on Baltic ave.  I thought I was winning for a while, then eight turns later, I was toast.

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Eating Healthy

"Man, when I was a kid, I used to eat pizza and ranch dressing almost everyday for lunch."
"Yeah, I knew some kids that did that.  Everyday it was cheese fries with ranch dressing from the cafeteria.


Yeah, they're dead now."

Monday, May 03, 2010

Re: Doomsday

[A reply to a thread about backing up your personal hard drive]

Besides pictures and possibly purchased media (many times you can just re-download them if you beg CS), what terabytes worth of data are you people backing up?

For personal files: gmail has my mail, google docs and/or gmail usually have any important docs i need (what is your definition of important?). Taxes are all online.  Banking is all online.  All digital media that i "found" for free isn't worth anything to me (and even the stuff i paid for wouldn't set me back much).  Any code projects i am working on are on some server somewhere already.  Am i missing something?

And for photos, think about it:  If you have a DSLR and take decent pictures, you have an online account for sharing photos.  If you want to keep the high quality copies for printing, you would have printed them already.  If you wanted to share the lower quality ones, you would have shared them already (i.e. someone has a copy somewhere if you really need it, which you don't).  And if you just took them, they are still on your camera.  99% of the other photos you won't miss (and neither will the people you show them to).

A forest fire every now and then is a good thing.  It helps you know what is really important.  Here's a hint: it isn't much.  Do I need my 5th grade report on dinosaurs?  Do I need my failed iphone app?  do I need my 128kbps Mp3 rip of the Beastie Boys from 1998?  The answer to all of these is no.

And if there is something on your drive that you really couldn't live without (most likely, there isn't), then by all means, back it up.  But is a hard drive the best way?  Who has or needs a copy?  Your lawyer? Your bank? Your hospital?  Your mother?  Do they have copies?  Would it be hard to get them?

Yes, other techies will laugh at you (like they will laugh at me for writing this) but you can take it.  Most likely, the things you really need most are already backed up.  And they aren't on your hard drive.

Don't be a slave to your data.


(this only applies to personal data.  businesses should have their data backed up by the admins :)

Friday, April 16, 2010

RussThoughts: Notes on India

This is the first of a series of notes taken on my phone during my time in India.  It, along with some of the pictures I took, serve as my memory.  Most of this will not make sense.  It has been modified heavily to hide the fact that I am illiterate.

Note 1: Hanging out in Frankfurt [because of a layover]. The German language makes me laugh. Flight = flug.  I listen to the airplane safety video and laugh out loud.  People are staring. There was a light snowfall. Walking around the airport, I noticed a Pear in bottle at the Duty Free shop.  The free wifi doesn't work. Damn. The first thing you see when you get off the bus from the tarmac is a McCafe your way. My plane to India is a Boeing 747-400 (a double decker), but I'll still be mushed into the back of the plane next to "baby's first international flight."

Note 2: Saturday: Got to the hotel around 4:30am.  Woke up at 9am.  Breakfast consisted of fruit, some stuff that did not taste how it looked, and watermelon juice. Note to self: never get the coffee. There was a thin film on top and it kept reforming. Had to venture outside to get a SIM card for my mobile.  Almost died every time I crossed the street. I needed to visit a bank in order to get smaller bills.  Turns out, not many places accept 1000 INR bill.  I Had no idea what line to get in or where to go.  People kept pushing in front of me.  Got the money and some passport photos needed to get a SIM card.  60 INR for 15 passport photos (I paid 8 USD for 2 in the States).  I was feeling adventurous so I went for a walk around Bangalore. Wow. Dogs on the street. Cows laying around. Pretty nuts. Everyone was staring at me. Very much Slumdoggish. So many shops. So many goods. So much poverty.  Street vendors sell watermelon instead of hotdogs.  So dirty. met up with my friend at 5pm. Went to The Forum mall. Regular people shopping for regular stuff.  Very different from where I was this afternoon. Went to British style pub (Firangi Pani) for drinks. Learned all about Cricket. Drove (a.k.a. feared for life), to a place that searved Delhi style food. So spicy. Everything. Made it back to the hotel.  Very tired. Fell asleep watching Red Dwarf. I love that show. Oh, and there was a DUI checkpoint on the way home.

More notes to come...

Sunday, March 14, 2010

1 दिन: शनिवार: बैंगलोर

1 दिन: शनिवार: बैंगलोर: 4 के बारे में मेरे होटल मिल गया. टैक्सी चला रहा था ... अच्छी तरह से ... रोमांचक. बंद करो रोशनी सिर्फ दिखाने के लिए कर रहे हैं. मेरा चालक लाल बत्ती के माध्यम से सही गई थी. मेरे होटल बहुत पसंद है, लेकिन यह अभी भी एक के बाद गीला तौलिया जैसी खुशबू आ रही है एक सप्ताह के बारे में. एक छोटी सी ए / सी बात का ख्याल रखा. अंततः 5:30 के आसपास बिस्तर पर मिला. मैं 8 में जागना की कोशिश जेट अंतराल के प्रभाव से लड़ने जा रहा हूँ.
शनिवार की सुबह चेहरे पर एक लात के साथ आता है. था उठो, बौछार कर, और कोई समस्या नहीं के साथ नाश्ते के लिए. ताजा फल और स्थानीय अखबार एक अच्छा स्पर्श था. बाहर अध्यक्षता में मेरी नोकिया E72 के लिए नाश्ते के बाद एक सिम कार्ड ले आओ. यह आसान नहीं था. भारत में, तुम कह क्या तुम वहाँ रह रहे हैं, एक पासपोर्ट फोटो होटल से एक नोट की जरूरत है, और अपने पासपोर्ट और वीजा की एक प्रति. मैं तस्वीर याद आ रही थी, लेकिन मैं के बारे में 60 के लिए 16 का एक सेट मिल गया था. सिम 100 रुपए था, और फिर एक को 500 रुपये का कार्ड भरने.कुल बाहर आया Rs.620 है, जो कम से कम 15 डॉलर है. बुरा नहीं है.
एक काम कर फोन नंबर के साथ, मैं बहुत अच्छा महसूस किया. मैं शहर के आसपास टहलने के लिए निकल पड़े. एक सड़क (या किसी भी मार्ग के निकट कदम वास्तव में एक बात को ध्यान दें: हर बार आप) तुम अपने हाथों में अपनी ज़िंदगी ले रहे हैं. सड़क पार रोमांचक (एक बुरी तरह से) है. मैं अपनी यात्रा के बारे में 4 को पार कर एक सिम कार्ड ले, और वाह. एक हेल्मुट स्कीइंग के बिना कुछ भी नहीं है.
चलना पिछला के बारे में, जैसे ही मैं बता सकता है अब तक, मैं रेसिंग ट्रैक घोड़े और सरकारी भवनों पिछले फिरते, शहर के दिल में हो रहा से पहले. एक बात मैं अभी देखा है कि वहाँ हर जगह दुकानें हैं. हर सड़क के निर्माण का सामना कर रहे एक दुकान है, और आमतौर पर के बारे में 12. और एक दुकान एक ही मद बेचता है. वहाँ एक दुकान थी कि कुछ भी नहीं लेकिन बग repellant, कुछ नहीं, लेकिन ड्रिल बिट बेच दिया है, लेकिन ध्यान देने योग्य बात अभ्यास, कुछ नहीं, लेकिन बर्तन, कुछ नहीं, लेकिन skillets. इसके अलावा, जंगली कुत्तों की सड़कों पर घूमने और यह सच है, वहाँ बस यादृच्छिक सब के बीच में बाहर लटक गायों हैं.
खुशबू आ रही है सभी) नहीं थे बुरा (. उनमें से कई मसाले और फूलों के थे. बेशक, यह सड़े फलों के साथ मिलाया गया था, और भगवान ही जानता है और क्या. जो भी हो, लेकिन मेरी 4 घंटे के भ्रमण के अंत में, मैं मर थक गया और बहुत गर्म था.
मेरे सह कार्यकर्ता के साथ रात के खाने के लिए बाहर का नेतृत्व किया. हम मंच है, जो बंगलूर में सबसे बड़ा मॉल है मारा, और यह किसी भी मॉल तुम राज्यों में पता होगा की तरह था. एक फिल्म और थिएटर के साथ पूरा एक है दिल्ली नगर निगम.
तो बंगलौर के बारे में कुछ प्रारंभिक विचार: वहां कचरा हर जगह है. वहाँ लोगों को हर जगह हैं. वहाँ कारों और बसों हर जगह हैं. वहाँ दुकानें हर जगह हैं. क्या मैंने उल्लेख वहाँ लोगों को हर जगह हैं? यह गर्म है. ये बदबूदार है. यह किसी भी जगह पर मैंने कभी पहले से किया गया है से बहुत अलग है. यह कम से कम कह ताज़ा है. मैं हमेशा से चकित कितनी अच्छी तरह बातें यहाँ काम कर रहा हूँ.
समय कुछ आईपीएल (क्रिकेट) देखने के लिए.
~ Russ

Monday, March 08, 2010

A Lazy Post

Both of these were stolen from commercials during the Olympics, and they make me want to embed more Youtube videos into my posts.

Monday, March 01, 2010

Weekend Movie Review (Spoiler Alert)

I only spoil terrible movies, or the terrible parts of good movies.  Still, you should be warned.

The Informant! - Summary: Rich guy acts dumb, steals lots of money, and goes to jail.  It's about 2 hours too long and Matt Damon needs to stick to chase scenes and gun fights instead of cheap wigs and terrible voice-overs.

Ninja Assassin - Bullet Points (throwing stars?): 1. Boy trains to be ninja 2. Boys falls for girl 3. Boy's brother kills girl 4. Some years later, boy goes Palin and cuts father in the f*ing face 5. Father is pissed 6. Bunch of pointless, really bloody fight scenes 7. Boy finally fights brother 8. Boy starts life 9. Person leaves theater/living room unfulfilled.  The only reason to watch this is to see the wonderful blood sprays.  

Capitalism: A Love Story - Summary: Democracy > Capitalism.  This movie < interesting.  I think Moore shot maybe ten mins of actual new footage for this movie.  And eight mins of it was him asking questions to people crying that he already knew the answer to and the other few minutes was him acting like a jackass in front of building security guards.

Crazy Heart: No wonder this thing won so many awards.  It's like Walk the Line and The Wrestler had a baby and it was raised by Tommy Lee Jones from No Country for Old Men.  All in a good way.  Jeff is a little old for Maggie, but it's not as creepy as Entrapment or most episodes of To Catch a Predator.  Maggie looks much older than she should and Jeff looks much younger than he is, so it all works out.  All I can say is I actually had to close my laptop while watching this movie, which makes my life seem so pointless.  And my favorite line: ""Damn those boots are ugly.  What, did the salesmen threaten to kill your dog or something?"

Monday, February 08, 2010

The RussThoughts Ruby Primer

The other week I was asked to give an "Intro to Ruby" class to some developers at work.  Now I just started learning Ruby myself in September, but I figured it would be a good way to learn more about the language.  So I now present to you my Ruby Language Primer.  This is to get you set up and running as fast as possible with Ruby, so get going and post your questions and solutions to the sample problems in the comments.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

People and Movies

People often remind me of characters in movies or TV shows.  Instead of simply telling them about it and getting the usual response, I try to find a way to watch the offending content with them, just to see if they notice.  No one ever does, but I think about it a few days later and laugh to myself.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Movie Review: "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell"

The only good line in this movie happens about 25 mins in.  After driving 3 hours to the town with the strip club (yeah, the entire movie is about 3 guys going to a strip club to sleep with a midget stripper... yeah), they decide to pregame at a local watering hole.  They walk in to this crappy bar with nothing going on and one of the guys says:

"It looks like Lane Bryant and Jenny Craig had a knife fight in here."

Other than that, don't waste your time, because I already wasted mine.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Snuggieland: Part 1

(We open in the middle of a discussion between 2 roommates in their apartment.)

Roommate1: "Yeah they were just handing these Snuggies out at work, so I grabbed one."
Roommate2: "Just giving them away huh?  Shocking."
"I know.  Have you seen the commercials? These things are hilarious. Here, I'm just going to try it on and see what it looks like."
"I'll tell you what it looks like.  It looks like you hate yourself.  It's kind of like wearing Crocs: comfortable for you, but incredibly uncomfortable for everyone else.  What would happen if you wore Crocs with a Snuggie?  In the Bible, I believe it's known as The End of Days."

(He puts on the Snuggie)

"Oh man, this is great! So much freedom for the arms. And this open back, it really lets the ass breathe."
"Yeah, you look like you skinned a monk.  Also, please don't sit on the couch..."
"I could get used to this."

(Roommate2 leaves to go to bed.  The Snuggie sits down on the couch to catch up on some TV.)

(The next morning... Roommate2 wakes up to find the Snuggie still on the couch)

"Are you kidding me?  One, you're paying to dry-clean the couch, and two, it smells of sadness in here.  What have you been doing the past 7 hours? Are you even going to work today?"
"Watching infomercials mostly.  We're going to need to clear up some counter space for the Showtime Rotisserie.  Also, Billy Mays says what's up.  Well, he didn't really say it, so much as yell it into my brain."
"Wait what?  What are you talking about?"
"I think I might work from home today.  I'm just so comfortable here.  Why haven't I been wearing this my whole life?"
"Because you're not homeless.  Speaking of which, have you showered lately?"
"Nah, I will later."

(With a disgusted look on his face, roommate2 heads to work. After a long day, he returns home to find the Snuggie still on the couch, in the same place, watching infomercials while casually eating a bowl of popcorn and sipping tea.)

"Popcorn?  You hate popcorn."

(He glaces to the kitchen to see the pile of empty microwave popcorn bags.  The sink is full of used tea bags.)

"And tea? You drink tea now?  I didn't even know we had tea."
"Yeah, I mean, with these sleeves, my hands are no longer trapped under the blanket.  I'm free to enjoy the kind of life normal people have.  It's great!"
"And judging by your matted hair and faint, wait, make that strong, smell we are now reaching the 48 hour mark with no washing of any kind?"
"It's just remarkable. Sleeves. In a blanket. Just wow."
"Yeah, I really can't imagine what the person who invented the blanket was thinking.  Oh wait, I know: he was probably thinking there's no way the human race will ever be too lazy to uncover themselves when they need to do something with their hands.  You sure showed him.  This whole thing is really starting to creep me out. I think I'm going to head to bed. You might want to do the same.  Your eyes look a little bloodshot."
"Enjoy your life of confinement, the feeling of being trapped, the icy cold air of the night when you have to get up to go to the bathroom."
"Icy?  It's 75 degrees in here.  Whatever man, I'm exhausted.  See ya."

(He goes to bed. His clock strikes 2:37am and a loud noise wakes him up.  His eyes open and at his door, he sees his roommate, still in the Snuggie, just standing there, staring at him.)

"What the hell are you doing? How long have you been standing there?  Why are you still in that damn Snuggie?"
"You look cold. And those blankets seem to be trapping your arms."

(Roommate2 can feel his blanket getting tighter around his chest.  He can't move.)

"Look at how free I am."  (He raises his arms to a Christ-like pose) "You want to be free don't you?  The Snuggie will set you free.  All you have to do is let it in you."

(Roommate2 closes his eyes.  He can't believe what he is seeing.  When he opens them again, the Snuggie has slipped into the shadows of the apartment.  He feels his blanket loosen around his arms.  He lays in his bed, shaking, wondering what just happened.)

Stay tuned for part 2...

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Things I want to say to people but haven't yet:

1. Sir, I'm afraid your pants are too tight.  No honestly, I am afraid.  For your life, and the life of your unborn children.  I've seen wet suits roomier.  Your balls have got to be packed in there tighter than hippies at a Phish concert.  When, or if, you take them off, it must be like peeling an unripened orange.  I bet it's got the same ending too: sore thumbs and sticky hands.

2. Sir, your breath smells as if a dog has been using your toothbrush to take its temperature for the past 6 years.

3. Sir, I've never met you before, but the way you walk makes me want to cut myself.  Seriously, I need your name so that when I slit my wrists tonight, I have something to write on the bathroom mirror.